OK. First things first. That poor kitty is not mine. I would NEVER EVER give one of my darling kitties Bud Light Lime. Eww. FYI, if you were to ever see me out somewhere and I am drinking one of those abominations, that is my signal that I am being held against my will, so call the police or intervene on my behalf or something!!!
All right. On to business. Do you know what today is???
Come on...of course you do...
I actually have some real legitimate fuck its this week too!
This first one is for you guys. Fuck me. Yep. I have been so shitty about reading all of your blogs the past couple of weeks. I'm an asshole. I am truly sorry for that...and unfortunately, I am not going to really have a whole lot of time over the weekend...I don't think anyway. We are gonna watch the Puppy Bowl, and the Super Bowl, and my grandpa and aunt are coming for a visit too, so....yeah. I know, say it. Fuck you Mel. You are a shitty follower! Next week I am getting my groove back...I can feel it!
Next. Fucking kidney stones. Yes still. I finally went to the doctor. Evidently, my urine specimen he took from me indicates an obstruction. Awesome. So, since I am really trying to avoid any kind of surgical intervention, I am taking something that is just like Flomax but its not Flomax. He had samples in his office so I didn't have to make a trip to the pharmacy. And if I had a prostate, it would be making things flow freely, but I don't, because that's not how I'm built, so it will serve me well (I hope) in making those fucking mini lava rock looking bastards not get stuck on their way out...but I am fully anticipating that I will need the procedure, because that is just how things usually go for me...fuck.
And finally, I will leave you with this...fucking stupid people. There are a great many of them. In fact, the out number the smart ones...which is really aggravating when you possess the ability to piece a sentence together. Like all of you. And I think me too. I don't know, you tell me. (Yeah..I was kidding...now I'm gonna get a bunch of comments telling me how stupid I am by anonymous trolls!) This is my story. Now, you all know I work the night shift. By morning, any peppiness that I might have (I was never the cheerleader type...I was one of the crazy goth chicks before it became cool and we threw popcorn at the cheerleaders IF we went to a football game!) is all gone. I am tired...because the fuc king kidney stones have not been allowing me restful sleep going on almost three weeks now!) I answer the phone. I am polite. I am not going to talk like I shit sunshine though, because I just don't. Ever. Under any circumstances. So I get a call from some chick on one of the floors. She sounds like a bottle blonde that left the bleach on too long and it killed some brain cells. And like she has pom poms in her back pocket at all times. She wanted to know if a patient was coming for surgery and when. Only she only knew his bed number. That is just unacceptable. You see, in my department, we like to ensure patient safety and satisfaction. We need more like three patient identifiers...you know, to make sure we have the right person and someone else isn't getting that person's information. I actually thought it was an organization wide thing, so maybe she didn't get the memo. So I start asking her for things...like the patient's name, medical record number, date of birth...you know, so I am sure its the right person. Little things. Well, pom poms gets all huffy and puts the phone down to have a look at his chart (holy shit, looking at something you should have right in front of you...what a bitch I am for asking...) and I can still hear her.."Oh. My. God. Could you BE any more ruder??" (Say it like Chandler from Friends. And yes, that is what she said.) So, pom poms gets the information she should have given me in the first place and comes back to the phone. I let her know that I could hear everything she said about me, and in my best RAH RAH voice let her know that when she calls us we are going to ask for those pieces of information to ensure that we are all on the same page patient-wise, because patients from every floor in the hospital come for surgeries and we need more than the bed number to go on...not only that, she only gave me the last two digits of the bed number. Super helpful on her part.
You will all be happy to know I told her to have a SUPER day.
Kill them with kindness. You could tell that all the helium left her balloon.
Don't be such a fucking dumb ass bitch and think that just because you voice is all sweet and syrupy someone isn't going to catch on to you!
And now for today's recipe. I think it serves as an awesome alternative to your classic nacho...and I know I told you all I had some when we were at the Renaissance Festival this past autumn. I am craving them like crazy now too. Also, you have all kinds of options with the potato...and you can make them as vegetarian or as meaty as you like!!! Hope you enjoy as much as me!!!
1 bag frozen waffles fries, regular fries, steak fries, potato chips or crisps or whatever!
1-2 cups cheese, shredded - whatever your favorite shredded cheese
2 green onions sliced thinly
3-4 strips of cooked bacon, crumbled
Anything else you think would taste good...
Pico de Gallo or Salsa, optional
Sour Cream, optional
Bake waffle fries in oven according to the directions on the package
Place fries in an oven safe dish, top with cheese
Broil in oven for about 5 minutes, watch closely
Top with onion and bacon, serve immediately with salsa, sour cream or any toppings you like...for real. Omit the bacon...use ground beef, don't use any meat...olives...tomato...peppers! You could even use that thick liquidy jarred cheese if you wanted...or a brick of Velveeta melted with a can of Rotel tomatoes (if you don't know what I am talking about, Velveeta - yellow brick of "cheese" that melts wonderfully and Rotel tomatoes - canned diced tomatoes with chopped green chiles mixed in...makes some excellent spicy queso dip...also good for Super Bowl parties!)
So there you have it! This wasn't really all about the Super Bowl, but pretty much what I have been dealing with all week! The recipe is totally Super Bowl friendly!!
And one other little piece of business, as of the moment I am writing this, it appears that we will be saying good bye to the boys at Epic Meal Time. They seem to be doing just fine without my free publicity. Perhaps every once in a while we can check in on them!
And now it is time for you to say FUCK IT! What has been aggravating the hell out of you??
And your Zen...