And I am too lazy. I claim it to be my prerogative as a female this week. You can take away whatever the fuck you want from that. I don't give a shit. So, I remembered about 15 minutes after I took a muscle relaxer that I didn't have a post ready for tonight. Fuck. I can't make any promises as to how coherent all of this is going to come across, so again, I don't give a shit. At the moment anyway. I might care later if I re-read it. And now, that song...if memory serves, I didn't like it at all when it came out in the 90s or whenever it was. Its ok now. Still don't know if I like it much, but I do remember it got PLAYED TO DEATH on the radio. Which is probably why I didn't like it much.
Ok, you know what today is, right?
So, other than the mother fucking cramps and the (what feels like) 20 pounds of water weight I seemed to have gained overnight, I don't have a whole hell of a lot to bitch about today. But its not all about me. Its about you all too. And if you all want to tell me to fuck off for being so shitty about reading and commenting as of late, you go right ahead, because I totally have been. Fucking life. All getting in the way of the things I want to do...fucking bull shit! So, before I let you all loose, how about we have a look at this pretty confection...
Ruffly Chocolate Cake
For the cake:
1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
2 cups granulated sugar
3/4 cup Cacao Barry Cocoa Powder - Extra Dark
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
2 eggs, at room temperature, lightly beaten
1 cup strong, hot black coffee or espresso
1 cup buttermilk, room temperature
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract
For the Swiss Meringue Buttercream
5 large egg whites
1-1/4 cups granulated sugar
1 pound (4 sticks) unsalted butter, softened, cut into cubes
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
pinch of salt
For the cake layers:
Preheat oven to 350 F. Prepare 2 x 9" (or 3 x 8" for slightly shorter layers) cake pans with butter and flour or parchment paper.
In bowl of electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, sift all dry ingredients. Add remaining ingredients to mixture and mix for 2 minutes on medium speed (you may need the plastic splashguard that comes with mixer).
Divide among prepared pans. Batter will be liquidy.
Bake for 20 minutes and rotate pans in oven. Cakes are done when toothpick or skewer comes clean, about 35 minutes. Do not overbake!
Cool on wire racks for 20 minutes then gently invert onto racks until completely cool.
For the Swiss Meringue Buttercream:
Wipe the bowl of an electric mixer with paper towel and vinegar, to remove any trace of grease. Add egg whites and sugar, and simmer over a pot of water (not boiling), whisking constantly, until temperature reaches 140°F, or if you don't have a candy thermometer, until the sugar has completely dissolved and the egg whites are hot.
With whisk attachment of mixer, begin to whip until the mixture is thick, glossy, and cool. Switch over to paddle attachment and, while mixing on medium speed, gradually add softened butter in chunks until incorporated, and mix until it has reached a silky smooth texture (if curdles, keep mixing and it will come back to smooth).
Add vanilla and salt and mix well.
Ok now, go on with your bad selves.